Not Worthy

You are not worthy –
Not worthy of the love
Which I have devoted to you.

I never thought before that
There was one who could affect me
So much by saying
So little.
You do not know what
My state of mind
Towards you is.

You do not know how
You haunt me and bewilder me.

You do not know how
The cursed carelessness that is
Over-officious in helping me at
Every other turning of my life,
Will not help me here.

You have struck it dead –
I think –
I sometimes almost wish
You had struck me dead along with it

You are the ruin of me.

I have no resources in myself;
I have no confidence in myself;
I have no government of myself when
You are near me or
In my thoughts.

And you are always in my thoughts now.
I have never been quit of you
since I first saw you.
Oh, that was a wretched day for me!
That was a wretched, miserable day

So, no, you are not worthy of
The love which
I have devoted to you.

I knew all along that the prize
I had set my life on was not
Worth the winning;

I further knew that I was a fool,
With fond fancies,
Bartering away my wall of
Truth and ardor
Against your little feeble
Remnant of love.

I will bargain no more.
I withdraw.