Night Closes In

night closes in and the doubts resurface
once again, i'm left to wonder why –
why i have allowed myself to back,
allowed myself to enter this place again

night brings to life those doubts,
those worries that plague a sane mind
turning you into a raving lunatic –
crashing your hopes in one lonely night…

optimism crashes and burns in
white hot flames at your very feet,
and your mind takes you down a darkened path
of what might never be…

living another day without –
without ever doing those little things
that make your heart soar above the clouds
and make your head swim with glee…

living without ever looking into
his warm, inviting eyes as you reach up
to touch the soft skin of his face with
the gentlest of caresses…

living without ever kissing
his incredible lips as you’re pressed
into the warmth of his chest and
wrapped in the safety of his arms…

living without staying up half the night,
talking to him as you already do,
without the interference of the phone or
the harsh glare of a computer screen…

living without drifting off to dream,
safe and surrounded by his scent –
drifting off to the lilting tones of
the song you have picked as your own…

living without waking up in the morning,
finding you’re still next to him –
that it wasn’t a dream this time to
drive you crazy with longing…

living without looking into his eyes,
touching his skin, surrounded by him,
feeling the heat of his gaze on your skin
as you make love throughout the night

living without knowing if we had a chance –
just that smallest chance to be something
more than the confines of the box …
the confines of the phone will allow…

living without ever exploring the connection –
that earth-shattering, heart-wrenching
soul mate connection that you feel at
just the mention of his name…

no, you realize now that night is no longer
your friend, if indeed it ever was,
for night is when fantasies come out to play
and doubts drown you while you sleep.