Staring at the Clock

staring at the clock,
hearing each little tic
resound inside my head.

sitting here, waiting
wondering where you might be
tonight.

wondering what you’re doing –
what you’re thinking…
are you alone?

staring at the clock,
feeling myself slip
inexorably into desperation.

consoling myself with
a bottle of bacardi and
a pack of marlboros.

staring at the phone,
wishing for life,
willing it to ring.

staring at the clock
marking each minute
with a slash upon my arm.

wondering
waiting
wishing

wondering why you had to leave –
leave me here alone,
to worship your memory.

staring at the clock,
coming closer to oblivion
with each passing second.